Stream of Consciousness

Welcome to the controversial life of a female player. These are my confidential confessions.

This blog is a stream of consciousness. Once my hands hit the keyboard, they do not stop typing until I am done writing. So if I get distracted, I will include those distracting thoughts or end the post abruptly.

Given its nature, I will not correct any typos I find later.

Thursday 1 January 2015

SoC #91 Few Days, Few Dates

It's 2 am, and after two awful nights of sleep, I am exhausted. I want to tell you about my last few dates in the last few days though.

#1) Second Date w/ Ginger
Classic Date Night

Ginger asks me if I'd like to see a movie. He lives in a quaint part of the heart of downtown with an old school movie theatre only a few blocks away. It seats about thirty people, and the screen is about double the size of the average living room TV screen. I loved it. I find everything oldies-themed to be so charming.

So he picks me up, and drives us downtown.  I hadn't spoken to him too much since the first date, and I had gotten so distracted with other boys that I forgot that I even liked him, to be honest. Our conversation was almost small talk- mostly about what kind of music we listen to. We are both obsessed with music.

Once we got out of the car though, he grabbed my hand quite naturally, and all the feelings came back at once. He gives me butterflies.

We had some time to kill before the movie, so we went to a local pub for drinks. I was bouncing off the walls. I do this thing when I'm with him: I kind of bounce in place like an excitable teenage cheerleader. I even did it the first date. Picture a ball of energy and happiness. That's me when I'm with him. Every. single. time. He thinks it's adorable. He knows I'm just a bubbly person, but I don't know if he realizes that he's bringing it out in me.

He's funny too. At the pub, I was sort of playing with the coasters, and he took his back and said, "nope, my coaster" with a serious look. It's endearing, and it makes me laugh. Or when he went to buy our tickets at the concession stand. I insisted that I didn't want anything, so he just gets a water bottle. I kind of reach for it while he's paying, and he slides it away from me and says, "oh, that's mine." Same joking serious tone. He looks at the cashier and says, "can you believe her?". I giggled and tried to take it from him before I gave up and playfully punched him.

We watched Top Five- seriously funny movie. We held hands or arms or something the whole time. And I had those butterflies in my stomach again.

After the movie, he took us to his home. I didn't want to have sex, so I was uncomfortable at first. Then I decided to take it easy. We opened a bottle of wine and chatted. I was kind of laying on the couch with my legs on his lap. I felt very adult the whole time.

We went upstairs to his room. He went to put on music, so I sat on his lap. We kissed, and he carried me to the bed. I ended up topless, but that's as far as I was willing to go. He drove me home at 2am, but I don't think either of us wanted to leave.

#2) Date with an Aussie
An Awful Date with an Aussie

I met an Australian guy off Tinder. In an attempt to replace my last Australian experience, and to learn more about Australia (planning on moving there for a year between undergrad and medical school), I accepted his offer to go for drinks.

He looks quite Australian. Blonde, medium build, fair skin, 23 years of age.

We went to a dim lit bar downtown. I met him there, and he was late.

He walked in. I hugged him. We ordered drinks. We chatted.

Turns out we have a ton in common. He's here for a year. I was planning on living in Melbourne when I'm in Australia for a year, which is where he lives. We both took biology in undergrad. He is a medical student, and I just applied. That being said, I felt zero chemistry.

The feelings were not mutual. While he was super into me, I was just thinking that what I felt with Ginger was actually kind of rare.

This guy even let me pick up the bill. I was unimpressed and turned off.

We went to another bar after a few rounds of drinks. I had two hours to kill until my sister was picking me up, so I decided to get drunk. This bar was hidden in an alley- pretty hipster place. He bought the drinks here, and indeed, I got drunk. We made out and kissed a lot, I think. We also held hands or something at some point. It was whatever though. I was really just drunk.

And the date got so much worse. 1) He kept leaving to go smoke cigarettes. Cigarettes are already unattractive, but being left for 10 minutes at a time is even worse. 2) He talked about his ex too much, which is the reason he even moved to Canada. This was a 2-3 month thing. How attached can you get? 3) He professed his love for me. I'm exaggerating, but man it was way too much. He essentially asked me to be exclusive. He deleted his tinder in front of me, and promised to cancel a date he had scheduled in a few days. He was planning our next date, and a visit to my college campus. I was honestly in shock. I remember thinking, what the hell man, you met me off tinder, clearly I have issues. Commitment issues. No intentions of ever seeing this guy again.

#3) Date with My Bae
Meet the Parents

So this guy is great. I'll just call him Bay. Bay is actually 19 years old- so two years younger than me. He is Italian. About 6 feet, brown hair, athletic build, chiseled jaw. Good looking guy that holds himself with lots of confidence that is easily confused with arrogance. He is in the commerce program at my school, which is one of the best business programs in Canada. Before that, he went to a crazy expensive private school. So he definitely comes from money. His mom is some big-time lawyer with a million and one connections to everyone. His summer jobs are all lined up for him with minimal effort on his part. Aside from all that, he is truly great. He treats me like a million bucks, and does all the littles (pays for everything; he opens doors; he brings me food if I'm sick/busy). Those were pretty superficial examples, but you get the idea.

I've been seeing him since October. We met at a house party, and we kind of stuck together right away. We left the party and went to the local club together, and then he came over. We didn't have sex, because I was on my period. The next morning we talked until he had yoga. After that we went on a bunch of dates- he even cooked me dinner once.

BRB i'm passing out. I will resume this tomorrow morning. Still have one more date to discuss :P.
Okay I'm back. It's 2 am again. Prime time blogging.

So where was I? bla bla bla cooked me dinner. Got it.

The only problem was that it was pretty obvious that he really liked me pretty early on. I still did really like him. I still do-ish. It comes and goes. I really liked him when the holidays started, about a week ago. He got sick, and he had to cancel plans with me twice. He also essentially disappeared. Hence why I liked him so much. Then he got better, which is great, but it meant that he was too available again. And to be honest, I had kind of moved on in that time. I'm sure it'll come back, so I'm not going to mess anything up. I do feel a bit guilty for having these thoughts. He knows me really well though, so he doesn't reply to my texts on purpose. It helps our relationship. Wow, I sound really fcked up. I probably am.

Before my third date with Ginger, I did have feelings for Bay. When he got better, we had a date night. He picked me up at my home, and I introduced him to my parents. This is a huge deal. I never let anyone meet my parents. I suppose I was thinking that if I was the relationship type, this guy would be my boyfriend. And it's been three years since I've been single, so they must be wondering who I've been running around with in that time. He's bring-home material, so why not? It'll probably be another three years until I feel that comfortable again.

He took us to a fancy restaurant. We had drinks, main entrees and a dessert. He's healthy though, so I ate the dessert all by myself. White chocolate brownie with ice cream. It was alright. Then we went to the cinema to watch Unbroken. That movie was traumatizing. When it was done, we kind of stared at the screen for a minute in silence. The silence broke when I started to cry, and Bay muttered, "what the fck was that." Then he drove us home, and gave me my Christmas gift. He bought me Godiva chocolates, and a Buddha board. I've recently started painting, so it was incredibly thoughtful and sweet.

I can't believe how well he knows me already. The thing about Bay is that I am 100% myself with him. I've never felt that way about anyone. I don't even white lie with him. I can just be myself, and he totally accepts it. He even knows all my commitment issues, and he humours them. He gives me tons of space, and he's told me not to tell him about other guys.

It was a great date though. He came over the next morning to drop off some things I accidentally left with him. He brought me a coffee from Starbucks, and hung out with my sister and mom for a bit. He's great, which is why I feel awful that I can't stop thinking about Ginger.

#4) Third Date with Ginger 
Falling Hard

Ginger asked me out again, and he gave a bunch of creative offers for what we could do for our date, but I suggested going to dinner. He picked me up and drove us to his (downtown) house. Then we walked a block to a wonderful little Italian restaurant located in our city's busy intersection. The restaurant's walls were all brick, and it was lit by dim lights and candles. The hostess took us to a table that was surrounded by three brick walls. It felt like we were lost in a busy room. Perfect for ignoring the world and getting lost in your date.

I sat down, but I couldn't sit still. I was doing that jumping off the walls thing again. Kept bouncing up and down in my seat. Ginger looked at me with adoring eyes, and mumbled something about me being "really cute." He thinks it's nice that I get so excited about life. I think it's nice that he makes me feel like skipping.

I honestly have no recollection of what we talked about. Can't remember a single thing. Kind of strange. I just know that it was perfect, whatever it was.

We ordered a fancy mozzarella appetizer, pastas for the main, and sangrias for drinks.

We walked back to his after, and we held hands the whole way. When my fingers got cold, he put both of our hands in his jacket pocket.

At his house, we opened a bottle of wine and talked for a while. Mostly about music. Once I get going on song structures, it's hard to get me to stop. Then we put on the romcom The Other Woman, as recommended by our server. I thought it was the funniest movie ever. I love strong independent women as leads. I also love emotional, typical romcom characters. So I was crazy about the two main characters. Great movie and company. We laughed and commented the whole time.

We talked more when the movie was over. He told me that he has a youtube channel where he puts up his drum covers. He plays the drum. I laughed out loud for a good few minutes. I had to see it. I expected to keep making fun of him when he showed me, but he was so good that there was nothing funny about it. He is an awesome drummer, and he promised he'd teach me in the morning.

We had sex, of course. It was great, and I finished way too quickly, but to be honest, I'm extremely paranoid about condoms now. And how could I not be? I went to make sure the condom was there about midway through, and it was not. It had slipped off. We put a new one on and kept going.

We are both aggressive cuddlers, so we cuddled all night and well into the next day. When we finally got out of beds, it was to feed our empty tummies. Then he taught me a few drum beats, and I kind of killed it. I met a few of his housemates, who all seem great. He drove me home at 2pm.

I'm pretty smitten. I can't stop thinking about him. Bold comment coming on: I could see myself falling in love with him. No more of those thoughts though, because tomorrow is my last day in this city. Heading back to university in two days. We're hanging out tomorrow night; he's trying to plan an outing with his housemates. I suppose that means he wants me to meet everyone. And then I'm off. Ah well, it happens.



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