SoC #92 Stream of Consciousness about Sluts

I don't exactly know what a slut is, but I think it has very little to do with your sexual activity.

If you wear provocative clothing, take seductive pictures, flirt with too many boys, you might be called a slut regardless of what's going on in your bedroom. It seems to have more to do with etiquette than actual sexual behaviour.

If a girl is conservative in her dressing, and discrete about just how busy she is in her bedroom, she doesn't qualify.

My friends and I use the term "slut" for boys and girls alike. And we mostly use it as a joke. We have one Scottish friend who is having the time of his life in Canada. He's not used to getting any girl he wants, so he's taking advantage. Canadians love accents- it's a thing. Anyway, he's already making out with someone random before both his feet are in the club. He's a "slut." Contrast with a "player" who juggles people and knows how to play the field.

I think this world is trying to move away from double standards. I saw a definition for slut recently that got me thinking. It read "a woman with a man's morals." There was a time it was defined as "a woman with loose morals." It's quite nice that people are acknowledging a double standard.

Whatever you wanna call it, there is a very real phenomenon for men and women alike involving sleeping around. In romantic comedies, we have the player that ultimately falls in love. His promiscuity attributed to feelings of confusion/loneliness/emptiness. And of course, commitment issues. So is that what it is? Are all us sluts/players running around with commitment issues?

I know I am.

Personally, I don't care what people do in their bedrooms, and I don't think anyone should. What I find most interesting is the social behaviour we scorn.

Honestly, I hook up with and date tons of guys. Tons. And I get minimal shit for it. Sure, there's gossip about me, but nothing I'll lose sleep over. Overall, I'd say people are pretty good to me. At least to my face. You never know. Meanwhile, I have a housemate who is rarely sexually active, and she gets tons of shit for being slutty.

So why would that be? I actually think the distinction between being "easy" or not is an important one. Sure, our guy acquaintances may know I'm no virgin, but they also know they don't have a chance. On top of that, I'm pretty cool (more well liked). But most importantly, I couldn't care less what people say. I very much follow the motto that 'people are going to judge you no matter what you do, so you may as well do what you want.'

So two things to carry with you in this world:
1) Nobody's nose belongs in your bedroom. Whether you are gay, straight, queer, polygamous, asexual, whatever. Do you.
2) Do what you want without fear of being judged. It's your one life. If you have good friends that listen to your stories and laugh at your jokes, who cares what other people are talking about. They're usually just jealous, anyway.