SoC #100 "I Don't Want a Relationship"

It's not you, it's me.
I'm focusing on myself.
We're on two different paths right now. 

We have grown up aware of these relationship cliches. As a child, I knew that "it's not you, it's me" meant "It's you, not me." So I suppose what happened is that these excuses were used long before, and became so common and ridiculous, that we all learned to puke at the sound of them by the 90s. Now, they're just used as a joke, and occasionally by assholes who know they are being assholes.

But it's not the 90s anymore. People have since avoided using all those cliches. Unfortunately, people suck. And in the meantime, a whole bunch of new and equally bullshit excuses have been popping up in break-up talks. And girls and boys alike have soaked up all the bullshit.

"I'm just not looking for a relationship."

This is the most cliche and bullshit excuse of our generation. It's the "it's not you, it's me" of the two thousand tens. If you hear this, I encourage responding with a

"No, it's not you, it's me! I just need to work on myself for a while. You'll find her."

And then block that motherfcker's number, and delete that motherfcking contact.

But don't delete off Facebook. That's unbecoming. Just unfollow, and you won't see that shithead's crap on your newsfeed ever again. And you definitely won't see when he gets a girlfriend in a week/month/year.

Because the truth is, everyone's looking for a relationship, even when they are truly not looking for a relationship. I don't care if you just got out of a serious relationship a few months ago or if you are going to live in Croatia in a few months. It does not matter. If you met the girl or guy that gives you butterflies in your stomach, nothing else matters. Not time, distance, and certainly not logic.

So please don't buy any of this "not looking for a relationship" bullshit. Because when that guy or girl that fed you that line is suddenly hitched, the next thing out of their mouth is

"I wasn't looking, but it just happened."

If you hear this, I encourage responding with a

"Fck you."

But not actually, you're more classy than that.

How about:
"No, it wasn't you, it was me. I just needed to work on myself for a while. Glad you found her...

Fcker."