Why am I so convinced he’s going to break my heart? I have
no idea. But somehow the thoughts that I was going to fall in love with him and
he was going to break my heart hit me at the same time right at the beginning. He’s
currently in Dominican. I’m divided between hating him and loving him. It’s
funny because I know where I actually stand. I love him. I miss him so much it
hurts. And I can’t wait to have him back. Then I have the skeptical part, and
that’s saying oh he’s being sketchy and it’s over. But honestly I don’t believe
that part one bit. I honestly believe he didn’t respond to me b/c he’s busy,
his signal is weak or he didn’t know I wanted a response. My messages were for
his arrival so if he was opening them there, he might not have thought I
expected messages back. Maybe he’s more patient than I am. Maybe he wants us to
miss each other. Anyway, I don’t really believe he’s being sketchy. I did stop
messaging him though.
Why do I love him? Isn’t he supposed to fall in love with me
first? Ugh that reminds me. How did this happen to me? Where did he come from
and why is this happening to me?
Why would he pursue me long distance when he doesn’t want a
girlfriend, esp a long distance one? What is he thinking. He’s the one who
liked me- he should have known better. I
didn’t think anything was coming of any of this- of course I took him up on his
free meals and drinks.
What is happening to me. Is this love? This fucking sucks.
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